Red light, stop. Green light, go.

Ok, I’m not really sure what the confusion is here.  Let’s say you get to an intersection with a red light and you’re wanting to turn right.  What do you do?

Well if you’re from Oregon, apparently it means you keep going and turn the corner with total disregard to traffic.  Let’s get something straight…if the light is red and you want totraffic_light_red turn right, you have to make sure the intersection is clear of traffic and will be during the time it takes your NW Portland yuppie car to accelerate.  It does not mean you can squeeze your way into traffic to make the turn…and it’s certainly NOT ok if you force people with the green light to slam on their brakes to let you go.  If this is how you think…YOU ARE A MORON and you need to go back to high school and take a traffic safety class again.  Sears also offers them if that works better for you.  I’ll even get the number for you.

Day after day (when I’m actually brave enough to venture out) I run into these idiots.  “Turning on a red light is ok.”  Sure it is…IF NO ONE IS COMING!  You, my friend, are not the only person in the world.  You are not the only one driving a car at that exact moment.  This is the way we drive in Washington, if you don’t like it, go back to Oregon and learn to drive before you come to our state!

Those of you that know me, know that it’s a little passion of mine to mess with the morons from the Dark Side of the river.  Now, I’m not saying everyone from Oregon is a shitty driver, but 9 times out of 10 the car that makes me swerve, slam on my brakes or rides my ass (pull my hair next time, bitch) has an Oregon license plate.  One time I was even in Oklahoma and had to call my friend in Washington just to let him know I cut off an Oregonian on the freeway.  He was real proud!

So next time you feel the need to pull out in front of someone, just remember it will only cost you 5 seconds of your life to actually follow the rules. I’m pretty sure Starbucks will still be open!

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